Secret Santa with family and friends: how it works

The rules are simple, which is half the appeal. Here's how most families run it:

1. Everyone who's taking part puts their name in.
2. Each person draws one name, and if you pull your own, you put it back and try again.
3. You buy a present for that one person only.
4. You keep it to yourself until the swap, no hints and no "guess who got you".

The classic way to draw is names in a hat at a Sunday dinner in November. When half the family lives in Galway and the other half in Melbourne, a free online name picker does the job and emails everyone their name. Before anyone draws, agree two things: the date of the swap, often Christmas Eve or the big family dinner, and the budget. Settling both up front saves a lot of messages later.

Kris Kindle works exactly the same way, so if your granny calls it that, nobody needs to explain anything. Doing it at work instead? The office version has its own etiquette, but the same basic steps.

There's no right amount. Many groups settle somewhere between €10 and €30, but it really depends on who's in the draw. A group of college friends will want something different from a family where a couple of teenagers are taking part, and not everyone has the same room in their wallet in December.

The easiest fix is one fixed amount that's the same for everyone. Pick a number, put it in the group chat, and stick to it. That way nobody turns up with a scented candle while someone else hands over a pair of headphones, which is awkward for both of them.

A gift card helps here because the amount is exact. If the limit is €25, the card is €25, and nobody has to wonder whether the present cost more or less. The All-in-1 Choice Gift Card works well for this, since you choose the amount and they pick the gift card they want with it.

Some families find regular Secret Santa a bit polite. Bad Santa fixes that. Everyone brings one wrapped present, all within the same budget, and they go in a pile in the middle of the room. Then people take turns: you either pick a new present from the pile and open it, or you steal one that someone else has already opened. Whoever loses theirs gets to pick again. It gets loud, and it works best with a bigger group and a mix of ages.

The trick with bad Santa gift ideas is to bring something that anyone in the room would actually want. The novelty mug or the joke socks get left behind, while the good stuff gets stolen three times. A Just Eat Gift Card is a strong contender, because a takeaway in that dead week after Christmas is hard to say no to. A National Book Tokens Gift Card tends to get grabbed by the readers in the family, usually just before the end of the game.

You unfold the paper and it's your cousin's new boyfriend. Or the uncle you see once a year, or a teenage niece whose interests changed twice since the summer. That's where most Secret Santa ideas fall flat, because you're guessing.

The easier route is to let them choose for themselves. If you genuinely have no idea, the All-in-1 Choice Gift Card hands the decision to them, and they swap it for the gift card they'd pick anyway. For someone who's always well turned out, the Fashion Gift Card lets them choose the jumper or the runners themselves. And for the gamer in the family, usually the one glued to a screen on St Stephen's Day, the Roblox Gift Card is rarely a miss.

None of these say "I didn't try". Put a proper message with it and it reads as thoughtful, not lazy. There are more festive options in our Christmas gift cards.

It's the night before the swap and the name you drew has been sitting in your coat pocket since November. No panic. An e-gift card arrives by email, so you can sort it in a few minutes and print it or show it on your phone. If you do have a few days, a physical card can go in a gift box with your message, which looks the part under the tree. The Merry Christmas Gift Card comes with a festive design, and our last-minute Christmas gift page has plenty more for anyone running behind.